Two Jokes

Here are some good jokes I just heard from my uncle. Check em out!

1. There was a man who lied in bed and his thoughts were racing, and he could not get to sleep. He did not know what to do. He thought to himself, "My mind is like a camp fire: when my thoughts are restless it is like the fire is raging. When my thoughts are calm, it is like the fire is dying down. When I am asleep, the fire is out. If I could only figure out a way to put the fire out maybe I could trick myself into falling asleep." So he decided he would imagine a fire in his mind, and then imagine putting a big cover over the fire to suffocate it. Sure enough, when he did this his thoughts began to die down, just like a fire slowly going out. Then he would lose concentration and his thoughts would flare back up like a fire flaring back up. Again, he would use the cover and his thoughts would calm. However, each time he did this, he unconsciously held his breath. After several attempts, he finally succeeded suffocating the fire, but unfortunately he also suffocated himself.

2. There is a story of a famous writer who travels through a farming village and meets a farmer. The farmer, whose body and mind are aged and worn beyond their years, approaches the writer and asks him, "What is your talent? I plant fruits and vegetables in the earth and feed my family with them. I cut lumber to build my house, raise cattle for their milk to feed my babies, and sell grains to my neighbors. But you, you sit all day inside a comfortable home which you did not build, eat food you did not grow, and create novels that no one needs. What do you have to say?" The writer looks at the old farmer for a moment, and then reaches into a bag and pulls out two books. He opens them both and lays them before the farmer. "Read from both of these and tell me which is better to your liking, " says the writer. So the farmer begins reading, first from one book and then from the other. Afterwards he points to one and says, "That one is better." The writer smiles slowly and says to the farmer, "That one was written by a farmer."

It's my birthday!

Well, it's finally my birthday. I never thought it would come. But now that its here, people are acting weird. For some reason they aren't saying anything about it. I guess they are waiting for the party tonight. On the bus on my way to work they were being very secretive about everything. When I asked John, who was sitting across from me, he gave me a blank stare and pretended not to know anything! He's really good! All I am worried about is how I will know where it is. I doubt its at my house, no one has any keys. It might be at the office, but that might be too early for a party. I bet it's afterwards, at one of the guys' houses. I just wish they would tell me! I am getting so anxious. I guess that's the point. They'll probably lead me to the place where the party and then---SURPRISE!
I love surprise parties. I always wanted one. My whole life I've always wished someone would give me one. I can't believe its finally happening!