Tired of working on Bibliographies all day long? APA format making your head spin? Well, sit back and enjoy Crazy A's playful jab at Academia in "Crazy's A's Instructional Series"
PART I
How to cite Sour cream:
Geniusly. Throw away trash.
First--document! Who are those authors?
Second--remember DAD = Diction, Allusion, Dialect
Third-air guitar
Four-be gentle, IT AINT SUSHI!
Dip finger in sour cream, spread over lips. Insert taco into hand. Make an "o" with your lips. Slide taco in. Swallow.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Pitch Notes
Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for taking the time to view my presentation here today. (Bow.)
I have an idea here (whip sheet off of easel) that could make us all very wealthy! (Make money-grubbing motion with fingers.)
I have the hot new program that will appeal to adults, teens, and child-to-tween viewers. Crossover appeal is the next big untapped market in the television reservoir and we can harness it, also we could put episodes for download on iTunes.
What does "the Office" have in common for viewers? Everyone has a job, except kids, so everyone who isn't a kid can relate to it. What does "Sesame Street" have in common for kids? Kids learn all day at school, so they are used to learning when they get home, they even have to do homework. It couldn't be more clear! Learning is a job for children! Teens learn and have jobs so they will be especially hit hard by our show which combines the two! (Whip sheet off of easel.)
"FUN MUSEUM" is an hour of dramatic and comedic television that combines a workplace scenario at an institution of learning! And I even really worked at a museum so I CAN WRITE IT FOR YOU.
The main characters are:
AMANDA - an adorable but scatterbrained teen waitress who works in the Museum coffee shop but dreams of being a major star!
TED - The dinosaur bone expert is a nerdy but funny teen who is good at his job but can't get AMANDA to notice him.
MR. PEABODY - The museum director who seems to care only about money and his catch-phrase ("I want to see 10 times the foot traffic!") but really has a nice heart and would help TED however he can. TED maybe is poor, too.
RAUOUL - An immigrant who cares only about money, and idolizes Mr. Peabody.
DR. STEVENS - the red-haired female head of the paleontology department who will become very important by season two!
TAMARA - An elementary school tween who comes to the museum every day and is always in the way.
The core of the show is a very simple tension between Ted Sherman and Amanda Robbins. But meanwhile there is also raucous comedy, like the time that really happened to me where someone brought a dog into the museum! I said "OK" but then my boss (The real-life Mr. Peabody? I'll never say!) told me it might bite someone and drive down foot traffic. So I had to go find it! This could be a running gag. Or what if there's one where they think the museum might close and there has to be a fund-raising concert! Ted could play a song to Amanda!
Thank you for your time, I'll leave these photocopies. (Pass out photocopies.) My e-mail is on the back.
TOTAL TIME: 13 minutes.
I have an idea here (whip sheet off of easel) that could make us all very wealthy! (Make money-grubbing motion with fingers.)
I have the hot new program that will appeal to adults, teens, and child-to-tween viewers. Crossover appeal is the next big untapped market in the television reservoir and we can harness it, also we could put episodes for download on iTunes.
What does "the Office" have in common for viewers? Everyone has a job, except kids, so everyone who isn't a kid can relate to it. What does "Sesame Street" have in common for kids? Kids learn all day at school, so they are used to learning when they get home, they even have to do homework. It couldn't be more clear! Learning is a job for children! Teens learn and have jobs so they will be especially hit hard by our show which combines the two! (Whip sheet off of easel.)
"FUN MUSEUM" is an hour of dramatic and comedic television that combines a workplace scenario at an institution of learning! And I even really worked at a museum so I CAN WRITE IT FOR YOU.
The main characters are:
AMANDA - an adorable but scatterbrained teen waitress who works in the Museum coffee shop but dreams of being a major star!
TED - The dinosaur bone expert is a nerdy but funny teen who is good at his job but can't get AMANDA to notice him.
MR. PEABODY - The museum director who seems to care only about money and his catch-phrase ("I want to see 10 times the foot traffic!") but really has a nice heart and would help TED however he can. TED maybe is poor, too.
RAUOUL - An immigrant who cares only about money, and idolizes Mr. Peabody.
DR. STEVENS - the red-haired female head of the paleontology department who will become very important by season two!
TAMARA - An elementary school tween who comes to the museum every day and is always in the way.
The core of the show is a very simple tension between Ted Sherman and Amanda Robbins. But meanwhile there is also raucous comedy, like the time that really happened to me where someone brought a dog into the museum! I said "OK" but then my boss (The real-life Mr. Peabody? I'll never say!) told me it might bite someone and drive down foot traffic. So I had to go find it! This could be a running gag. Or what if there's one where they think the museum might close and there has to be a fund-raising concert! Ted could play a song to Amanda!
Thank you for your time, I'll leave these photocopies. (Pass out photocopies.) My e-mail is on the back.
TOTAL TIME: 13 minutes.
Important
PLEAASE FORWARD THIS to as MANY poeeple as possible! If you do not forward this in the nest 48 hrs. Your eyes will be chopped off by a real killer!
A thousand years ago in new york city when it was still an indian village there lived a little girl named MeKong (Crazy Tree). she was killed by white men who had poisend the river and hurt all the fish. She lived on as a spirirt and she calls people to let them know if they will die in the next 24 hours!!!! Mekong will call you if you do not forward everyone on your facebook and in your myspace comments! She will tell you you will die and then she will come out of your mirror and scratch your eyes out aand kill you and your family memebers.
PLEASE FORWARD!!!
A thousand years ago in new york city when it was still an indian village there lived a little girl named MeKong (Crazy Tree). she was killed by white men who had poisend the river and hurt all the fish. She lived on as a spirirt and she calls people to let them know if they will die in the next 24 hours!!!! Mekong will call you if you do not forward everyone on your facebook and in your myspace comments! She will tell you you will die and then she will come out of your mirror and scratch your eyes out aand kill you and your family memebers.
PLEASE FORWARD!!!
Friday, January 11, 2008
A Barrel of Trouble!
So I've been quadriplegic for seven years now this November, and I've had my little helper monkey friend, Truckles, for the majority of that time. He is a whiz at the microwave and is so gentle brushing my teeth, especially after I developed gingivitis. He is truly "a great mind in a furry friend". But... and I'm sure you guessed there would be a "but!"
It is nearly impossible to keep him from seeing "Monkey Shines"!
The movie was released a couple decades ago, apparently, but I only became aware of it in 2005 when my dad left a copy propped up as a practical joke on a high shelf in his guest house where I live. I watch a lot of movies as you might imagine but I don't watch much horror because I have enough trouble sleeping as it is LOL! When Truckles brought it down to me and I read the back I grew terrified! The movie is about a helper monkey who becomes a killer! She uses her power over her companion to kill those he loves and manipulate him.
Now, Truckles has always been completely tender and loving. He even tries to make me little greeting cards out of my manila envelopes and leaves them on my chest. But I can also tell that he is highly influenced by things we watch on TV. (Don't ask me how I can tell - "A mother just knows!") "No problem", I thought, "I'll just have Truckles throw it out." Which I think he did. (I didn't even like the case to be lying around. I know Truckles can't read but some of the pictures on the box were just chilling!) But then it started showing up on Pay-Per-View. Now, because of my medication I end up sleeping a good portion of the day and Truckles is allowed to use the TV (quietly!) when I am asleep. In the last couple years I've also allowed him to order himself Pay-per-View movies if they are non-premium (i.e. $4.99 and under.) I think he deserves it. "After all," I joke with him, "you do most of the heavy lifting around here!"
Now, it is possible to block a movie, but of course I can only manipulate the remote and enter a password with Truckles's help. Thanks to that g-ddamn movie, I'm already living in the movie! I had the cable removed but now Truckles has grown restless and makes too much noise when I sleep. I guess I don't know what to do. Comments appreciated!
It is nearly impossible to keep him from seeing "Monkey Shines"!
The movie was released a couple decades ago, apparently, but I only became aware of it in 2005 when my dad left a copy propped up as a practical joke on a high shelf in his guest house where I live. I watch a lot of movies as you might imagine but I don't watch much horror because I have enough trouble sleeping as it is LOL! When Truckles brought it down to me and I read the back I grew terrified! The movie is about a helper monkey who becomes a killer! She uses her power over her companion to kill those he loves and manipulate him.
Now, Truckles has always been completely tender and loving. He even tries to make me little greeting cards out of my manila envelopes and leaves them on my chest. But I can also tell that he is highly influenced by things we watch on TV. (Don't ask me how I can tell - "A mother just knows!") "No problem", I thought, "I'll just have Truckles throw it out." Which I think he did. (I didn't even like the case to be lying around. I know Truckles can't read but some of the pictures on the box were just chilling!) But then it started showing up on Pay-Per-View. Now, because of my medication I end up sleeping a good portion of the day and Truckles is allowed to use the TV (quietly!) when I am asleep. In the last couple years I've also allowed him to order himself Pay-per-View movies if they are non-premium (i.e. $4.99 and under.) I think he deserves it. "After all," I joke with him, "you do most of the heavy lifting around here!"
Now, it is possible to block a movie, but of course I can only manipulate the remote and enter a password with Truckles's help. Thanks to that g-ddamn movie, I'm already living in the movie! I had the cable removed but now Truckles has grown restless and makes too much noise when I sleep. I guess I don't know what to do. Comments appreciated!
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
All The Soaps
1. Soap dish
2. Soap box
3. Soap opera
4. Hand soap
5. Body soap
6. Soap suds
7. Dish soap
9. Bar of soap
10. Soap brush
11. Soap rag
12. Face soap
13. "All soappy"
14. Soap on a rope
15. Pope's soap
16. Peppermint soap
17. Cinnamon soap
2. Soap box
3. Soap opera
4. Hand soap
5. Body soap
6. Soap suds
7. Dish soap
9. Bar of soap
10. Soap brush
11. Soap rag
12. Face soap
13. "All soappy"
14. Soap on a rope
15. Pope's soap
16. Peppermint soap
17. Cinnamon soap
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